Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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