Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think I just sharted jello shots
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize