I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
