Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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