he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
