he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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