OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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