your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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