i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
