Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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