found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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