She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
