There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
