I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
