I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
