The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
