have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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