The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
