Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
