I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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