Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize