big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
