i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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