i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
