Apparently you make a good broom.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's the barista slut.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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