pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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