New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
