Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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