I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Are we still banned from the library?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize