I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
