That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
