Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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