update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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