I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize