well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
