it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
