He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize