i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
