I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
