we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
