nut hugger
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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