hell yes lets make some ravioli
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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