I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
