Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
