i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He kissed a someone with a penis
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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