Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize