The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
