That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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