Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
