I'm drive I can fine osifer
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
