I have demons in me.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Boobs are out for the taking
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
