i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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