Four minutes until I can fart!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
