let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
