she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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