my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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