We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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