At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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