Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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