those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
