2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
